Charlotte Elizabeth: Life

Post in collaboration with Buscopan

If you haven't heard of Hygge yet then grab yourself a cuppa, and get comfy as you're in for a treat. Hygge (pronounced hoo-gah) is a Danish word that represents the culture of cosiness, wellbeing and happiness. So I guess that's why the Danish are the known for being the happiest people in the world. But what is Hygge and how do we introduce this into our lives.

Hygge can be anything from a home-cooked dinner with your family, relaxing with a good book and candlelight, to spending time with your family and friends. It's all about enjoying the good things in life, while creating a warm positive atmosphere. Most of us are probably doing many of these 'cosy' things naturally, but if we're more aware of the affect this can have on us, then we can all be more inclined to do more of it, and it'll help make us happier, healthier people. #Winning. So here's a few ways to introduce Hygge into your life.

Create a Hygge Corner

A Hygge corner is a little space in your home where you can relax and feel super cosy. Whether this is your bedroom, your sofa, or your favourite spot in your home; get comfy, snuggle up and just enjoy. On the days when I have really bad IBS or Endometriosis flare up, the thing I want to do more than anything is lounge around; and a little corner filled with big cushions, knitted blankets, soft lighting or candles and favourite pyjamas is just perfect for that. I love snuggling up with a good book or my laptop ready to write a new blog post, while Pepe (my little pug) cuddles up beside me. Or sometimes, I much prefer just having a hot bubble bath, and lying in bed listening to gentle meditation music.

Grab a Warm Drink

It's true when people say you can't beat a good cuppa. Whether you've just woken up, or arrived home from a long day at work. If you're catching up with friends, or feeling upset or under the weather; a cuppa tea (or a warm drink) will make you feel so much better. Usually, my preference is a nice cup of English Breakfast Tea (loose leaf of course), but I also love a refreshing Earl Grey. For the days when I'm having a flare up, there's nothing better than a gentle, soothing herbal tea like Peppermint, or a Snore and Peace (Chamomile, Lavender and Lemon) to help me wind down before bedtime.

Fluffy Slippers

I don't know if I'm just speaking for myself, but I feel so much more cosy when I have my favourite fluffy slippers on. Whether it's Springtime or Winter, fluffy slippers are a must. The cosy feeling just helps me wind down and helps me feel so much more relaxed. And cosy snuggly feeling has a huge Hygge factor!

A Gratitude Journal

Keeping a gratitude journal or jotting down thoughts in your favourite notebook is a great way to train your mind to be more positive and thankful in life. I truly believe this is needed in everyone's lives, and this year I'm giving the Happiness Planner a go to try and be more appreciative of the good things in life. Each day, you can set yourself tasks, make a note of things you're thankful for, something you'd like to happen tomorrow, as well as giving you a motivational quote. At the end of each month, you reflect on the past and set goals for the upcoming months. Keeping on top of it is the hardest challenge, but if you keep at it, you'll find it really therapeutic and will thoroughly enjoy being a happier human being.

Soft Lighting & Candles

Soft lighting and candles are perfect for winding down and relaxing - the more candles the better. And what's better than lots of candles? Lots of scented candles. My personal favourites are this Pomegranate Candle from The White Company* which is so gentle, it's perfect to relax. As well as Jo Malone Dark Amber & Ginger Lily, and Jo Malone Silk Blossom which are both beautiful and fill any room with a delightful fragrance. Whatever candle is your favourite, light as many as you can, turn the lights off and enjoy the ambience.

Calming Activities

Adult colouring books have been extremely popular over these past few years, as they're said to be able to help with stress and anxiety . But they're also great to help wind down and relax when you just need a little me time. There are so many options suitable for everyone, from movie theme, to fashion and beauty, to pretty prints and florals, to shapes and animals, you're guaranteed to find a colouring book perfect to you. So grab a cuppa, sharpen your pencils, and get ready to doodle to your hearts content.

Furry Friends

Possibly not just speaking for myself now, but when my little pooch is around, I naturally feel so much happier. It's just something about the company of those furry friends, and the love they have for us that makes us ooze with love and happiness. When I snuggle up in my Hygge corner, Pepe is never too far away. He's the perfect little lazy thing that loves relaxing and winding down as much as me. As you can tell, he already beat me to it in these pics!

Hygge is so much more than a cosy room, good food, friends, candles, and relaxing. It's a way of life, to help you find time to relax, unwind and slow down in life. It's about taking time out or 10 minutes for yourself when you need to. If you're a suffer of IBS or Endometriosis like me, you'll know when those nasty little symptoms flare up, there's nothing in the world you'll want to do more take some time to do nothing. Whether it be watching a film, lying on your sofa in your favourite pyjamas staring into space, or even just enjoying your own company. So remember to enjoy the little things, and you're already Hygge-in' at home.

* This post is in collaboration with Buscopan, to help raise awareness for IBS and help promote a healthy lifestyle. I agreed to write this post as I'm personally affected by both IBS and Endometriosis (which can have similar symptoms), and I wanted to share some tips to help you all unwind. Although as always, all opinions and thoughts remain my own. For more information, see my Disclaimer.

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More recently, I've found myself taking unexpected breaks from blogging, social media and social events. Being honest, it wasn't really planned, as I do genuinely love my little space on the web. But I've found myself a little overwhelmed with life in general, and I just needed some time to do nothing.

We live in such a digitally focused age where it's more popular for someone to text, tweet or message someone, than it is to spend quality time together. It's easier to ask how someone is over a text message, than it is to meet up and catch up over a cuppa.

The first thing I find myself doing when I wake up is checking my phone to see who's messaged me, or to catch up on what strangers are posting on social media. And that doesn't change when I go to bed, as I'm scrolling through my Instagram feed, seeing the pretty pictures that my favourite bloggers are sharing, or being nosy on Twitter. It's almost second nature to do these things.

Often, I feel like I've lost a day, or an evening because I've been sat in front of a laptop deep in thought, or sharing things on social media. Instead, I could be spending quality time with loved ones, creating memories and not feeling forced to post several times a week. But there comes a point in life, where you just need a break; a detox, if you wish, from the digital world, to spend some quality time with you. So what have I learnt?

1. Your Personal Life is Important

Blogging, and the social media channels that come with it, can have a huge impact on your personal life. Especially when you have a full time job, you're studying at University part time and you have a a life to keep on top of. You almost find yourself struggling to keep up, and end up missing out on key things.

Family is the most important thing in the world to me. Spending some time off line, enjoying quality time with family and friends, allows you to create special memories. It's been wonderful to be able to have a spare moment to catch up with friends over coffee, go to the movies (which I hadn't done in so long), dining and enjoying family dinners.

2. Blogging is Hard

Being a blogger is hard, and there's so much pressure on us in the community to try and produce high quality content, as well as increasing our engagement and traffic; to try and be great writers and to hopefully get a big break where we'll be collaborating with our favourite brands.

Oh a girl can dream to wake up as Chiara Ferragni. But with that, comes great responsibility of trying to create the best and new exciting content, while keeping our social media accounts active, as well as being up to date on the latest trends within the blogging world.

3. More Sociable

Blogging is a full time job (even if you have already have a full time job), and that means sharing your life with the world, if that's what you choose. The amount of times I've been looked at funny, or told off by family members for trying to take a quick photo of a delicious meal, or a fancy drink.

It's nice to realise that there's a time and a place, and sometimes Instagram can go without a photo, and Twitter doesn't need to know where I am every hour of the day. Instead, I can just enjoy spending time with my family and friends. And I'm still able to update social media, it's just a little toned down during family time.

4. Clear Mind

Being a writer is hard. Especially when you write professionally for a living, and when you're trying to cut it as a blogger. When you're writing as a blog, there isn't anyone to give you an idea or content, you have to think of everything yourself. It's so easy (and completely) normal to get writers block, we're all human and we all do it. And it's better to take a break, to give yourself time to relax and wind down, and wait for new content to spring to mind.

It's so much better taking some much deserved time out, to re-balance and find new content. Because there's nothing worse than writing posts with no meaning or passion behind it. As not only is it a waste of time, it also shows to your readers.

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Often, people associate any pain that a woman has, as being "that time of the month". When in fact, to have normal cramps would be a blessing to anyone who suffers from Endometriosis. Unless you suffer from Endometriosis, it's hard to explain the excruciating pain you'll encounter quite often. So if you say to me "oh , so you get bad periods then", don't take it personally when I pull a "really, did you just say that" face.

For those of you who aren't aware, Endometriosis is not a period, nor is it just cramps. In fact it isn't close to even being really bad cramps. It's a chronic pain caused by internal bleeding and inflammation of tissue (that should normally line inside your uterus). It's most commonly appears in or on your ovaries, bowel, and pelvis; but can spread to almost anywhere - the Endometriosis Institute has reported cases of Endometriosis of the bladder, bowel, liver, lungs, arms, thighs and even brain.

The endometrial tissue will continue to thicken, break down and bleed with your "normal cycle", but because this tissue has formed outside of your uterus, it has no where to go and develops into adhesions (abnormal tissue that binds organs together) and scar tissue.

Symptoms often include (but are not limited to) pain before, during, or after menstruation, during ovulation, when going to the toilet, in the lower back, or during sex. Where endometrial tissue has formed on your bowel or abdomen, you may notice regular diarrhoea or constipation, heavy bleeding or irregular periods (mine can be as minimal as two a year), tiredness and fatigue, and severe abdominal bloating - on a flare up day, my tummy can look like a baby has been growing in there for 5 months.

Diagnosis takes a lot longer than it should. I first went to the Doctor at my GP in 2010, as I had been suffering from extremely painful, but irregular periods ever since I was taken off the pill (due to a blood condition, I'm unable to take any form of contraceptive). However, before being given a diagnosis, the GP made me undergo countless blood tests, ultrasounds, examinations, a variety of different medications, and gave me multiple potential diagnoses including possible early menopause, IBS, PCOS, and pelvic inflammatory disease (PID).

I was diagnosed with PCOS following ultrasounds - which explains the reason why I also don't have periods, as PCOS affects your ovulation. Rather than the egg forming and travelling down the Fallopian tube, it stays in your ovaries and forms a cyst. PCOS shouldn't be painful, but can lead to further health problems. However, this diagnosis meant nothing to me, it didn't explain the pain I often had.

So after continuously nagging, the GP referred me to a gynaecologist, and following some uncomfortable examinations and a laparoscopy, in June 2015, I was finally diagnosed with Stage 3 Endometriosis. This meant I had both Ovarian Endometriosis - of both ovaries and Fallopian tubes; and Deep Infiltrating Endometriosis - of the peritoneum (membrane that lines the abdeomen), uteroscaral ligaments, bowel, uterus and kidneys. Yes I know that sounds like complete jargon, so I hope the below image helps - my diagnosis is between Stage 3 and 4.

https://www.asrm.org/BOOKLET_Endometriosis/

Following the diagnostic laparoscopy in 2015, I was booked in for a follow up surgery to hopefully treat Endometriosis, and remove any adhesions. This happened has recently happened in November 2016, so because of the length of time that had passed, my surgeon told me that the Endometriosis and adhesions on my left ovary, kidney, peritoneum and bowel had worsened, meaning most of the surgery was spent on these delicate areas.

Sadly, there is no known cure for Endometriosis. Although, apparently having a baby helps reduce endometrial tissue and symptoms. But on the contrary, Endometriosis has an extremely high risk of infertility - bit of a kick in the teeth really, the only thing that will cause a massive reduction, if not complete reduction in my pain, is a baby. A baby that I possible can't have (and most definitely can't have naturally), as the stupid disease has taken over my ovaries, pelvis and most of the other important lady organs I'd need.

There are always a variety options that consultants can discuss to help ease symptoms, although repeat surgery is usually the most common option, she also briefly mentioned hormone replacement therapy (HRT) which will help both my Endometriosis and PCOS, but that is just something that will be discussed for now. I'm due to have a review with my consultant in April to go through the next steps, so I'll be sure to share the results with you as I'm hoping to share my journey, and to help anyone else suffering with Endometriosis.

*Photos sourced from Pinterest. Clickable link on each image.

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There's never a right time to ask someone when they're going to have a baby, or if they're already parents, when they plan to have more children. Yet it's a question that has popped up at least every week, since the moment I got married. Whether it be from family members who are just wanting us to take the next step, or friends who are just wondering when we're going to be starting the next chapter in our life. But it's a question that makes a conversation uncomfortable. It's a question that is hard to respond to. It's a question that you shouldn't have to answer. I mean, how do you answer it? And do you even have an answer?

Although, the question may be asked in complete innocence, or by people who are just a little curious. The bottom line is that whether you're unable to have children naturally, or you're not ready to have children, or even if you've already made the decision not to have children at all, it isn't anyone else's business, nor is it a question you should feel pressured into answering.

You don't owe anyone an explanation.

Albeit, some may see it more as a personal question, than one which would lead to feelings of upset. But, realistically, you're never going to know whether someone is struggling with infertility problems, or is grieving a miscarriage. Having a baby naturally, or even at all, isn't always on the cards for some - myself included. Whether you're a woman in her 30's, a newly wed couple, or been married a while, it's none of anyone else's business when, or if, you decide to have a baby.

It's impossible to know the thoughts running through someone's mind, when they're asked such a personal question. Take myself for example, if I were to be completely honest with someone, it would just make the conversation completely uncomfortable. And that isn't a position I'd want to put someone else in. Yet, on the contrary, the question asked will in fact put me in an awkward position. If it's someone close, then of course, I wouldn't mind explaining the truth, that I just don't know if it's possible yet, and even if I can. But, for those who I'm not too close with, I'm left faking a smile, pretending that I'm okay, and that I'm just not there yet.

A baby? I already have one, my husband.

No matter what answer I give, it doesn't make it any less harder to explain. Because being honest, whenever I get asked the question, it makes me wonder about whether I'll actually be able to have children. Or whether it will be a lengthy process, that will just prove disappointing in the end. And is that a position I want to put myself in? Being told at the age of 25, that you have a high risk of preeclampsia, miscarrying or still birth, and that you have extreme difficulties being able to conceive naturally and will need IVF, or that you may experience problems carrying a baby to term, is heartbreaking. It's a decision that is potentially being taken away from you, without being able to control a single element of it.

Although I've told myself in the past that I didn't want children, I suppose it's because I thought it would be easier to process. To make myself believe that it's just not for me, rather than being left upset and disappointed. But, that would be selfish of me. To take a decision like that away from my husband, and myself. Because, if you don't give it a go, then you'll just never know. And life's to short to think about what if's. Medicine has developed so much over the years, that there are so many alternative options for couples wanting a baby. And even though it isn't a simple process, it's something I'm prepared to try.

I know, in reality, these options aren't always available for everyone. Sometimes, sadly, there just isn't anything you or anyone else can do. Bottom line is, if someone wants to share their personal plans, then they'll tell you. If you're curious, then just sit back and wait until they decide to tell you themselves, should that be their decision.

*This post was not sponsored or in collaboration. But was written as part of Endometriosis, PCOS, and Infertility week.

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